Our family goes a long way back with Cursillo in the Twin Cities. My parents, Molly and the late Pat Van Oss, were the leaders of weekends #1 and #2. They brought the movement here when we moved from Ohio.

My wife Therese and I made our Cursillos in the 1980s. It was a fellow Cursillista, Sam Ashkar, who knew both of us separately and made introductions. Cursillo was part of bringing us together in 1986.

I proposed, and Therese accepted, on our 4th date. We had known each other for 28 days. For me it was not a triumphal moment. It was a moment of abject surrender to a will greater than my own. I recognized that I was being presented a gift. That I could decline, but I would be a fool to do so. And I caved to God's will for me, for us.

We are not perfect for each other, yet we are the Lord's choice for each other, so who can argue with that?

I recognize that I have been given a precious gift. And I try every day to say a prayer of thanks for that gift. As in any long marriage, there have been many days that prayer was said with a smile and a few days through gritted teeth.

My message: You will have tough days. You will have wonderful days. Try every day to remember to be thankful.

Joseph Van Oss