For those you who followed my blog and my winter trip I apologize for however repetitious this may feel. For those of you who don’t know what on God’s earth I’m talking about, I was on a camping trip over the winter across the south and southwest and, I was asked if I would like to write a reflection about it.
Prior to the trip I was given two gifts that were so impactful they became central elements. I received the book Jesus Calling from my dear friends Deb and Wayne. And from my friend Jeanne, who is in our monthly Divine Mercy group, I was given a travel Rosary CD with a Rosary steering wheel cover. (Yup, you read that right.) I am still so grateful for these two things coming into my life.
Jesus Calling is a daily devotional book that I described in my blog as a relationship book. A relationship book about Jesus and me. Like the story of any relationship, it made me laugh, cry, think, feel challenged, and feel loved and affirmed. It was more often than not a part of the first hour of every day. It was always daily, and remains so. It is the word daily that makes this or any other spiritual aid a difference maker.
It was not until I got to Corpus Christi that I was able to get the steering wheel cover warm enough to get it stretched on to the steering wheel. But I didn’t wait until then to start using the CD. I’ve always described myself as “not much of a Rosary guy”. That has changed. This CD and my Divine Mercy CD were the only two CDs I took on this trip. I used both every day, often more than once. I have no doubt that my own prayers, and yours, kept my trip safe and trouble free.
They are both still “permanently” loaded in my CD changer, (the only ones), and I still use them almost every day that I drive somewhere. When they weren’t on, I drove thousands of miles in silence giving the still small voice plenty of airtime. That became a new habit and change for me. I still drive mostly in silence or with classical music. With all due respect to fans of Relevant Radio, I no longer let people talk at me from the radio. It is not a statement about a lack of good content. I just have found that for me it makes my life feel more relaxed and peaceful and gives God more time slip through all the “stuff”.
What is man, that thou art mindful of him? Psalm 8
It seems like this question walked across my head a thousand times as I experienced the grandeur, both big and small, of God’s creation coupled with the sculpting of time. It made me feel both significant and insignificant. Wonder became both a noun and a verb in my life. I at times struggled with worthiness, feeling overwhelmed by the privilege of having my senses, my whole being really, being fed day after day by the wonder of our beautiful country. It became the world’s longest close moment. There were many times that my blog entries seemed so woefully inadequate. I had to come to a peace with the fact that when words couldn’t do justice to what I was feeling inside, that it was ok for it to remain my gift from God.
Which brings me back to my title. For those times when what I felt was larger than words, when I couldn’t seem to get my arms or my head or my heart around something, I now have a place. And I’m striving to fit both the butterflies and gators, the stormy and the calm, the blessings and the struggles, inside it. It’s called gratitude and wonder.
The Peace of Christ to you all.
Eric Volden
